There’s something exhausting about constantly putting on a mask. Each day, I wake up and brace myself for the inevitable—interactions I don’t want, conversations I have no interest in, and people I’d rather avoid. Yet, society demands it. My job demands it. And this duality, this constant push and pull between what I truly feel and how I’m forced to act, is becoming unbearable.
I don’t hate individuals, per se. It’s the collective noise, the neediness, the superficial exchanges that drain me. The small talk, the forced smiles, the endless stream of meaningless chatter—it all feels like a performance I never agreed to. It’s not that I lack the ability to communicate or cooperate, but rather that every interaction feels like a slow depletion of my energy.
At work, it's worse. The office is a social minefield—meetings, team projects, after-work events—all of them pushing me into roles I detest. I’m forced to play the part of the cooperative colleague, the engaged worker, the team player. Inside, I feel a growing resentment for these unnecessary rituals. I don’t want to interact, I don’t want to collaborate, and yet, I have to. The job pays the bills, but it’s robbing me of my peace.
But this won’t be my life forever. I’ve started planning my escape. I realized that instead of being consumed by resentment, I could focus on creating a future where I won’t have to endure this anymore.
First, I’m saving every penny I can. It’s not easy, but I know that the freedom I crave will come with financial independence. My goal is simple: break free from this cycle by building my own business. Something where I’m the boss and set the terms—whether it’s a small online venture or something larger that allows me to work with minimal human contact. I’ve also considered affiliate marketing or e-commerce, where the interactions can be controlled or automated. I want to be my own master, where the success of my day isn’t measured by how well I faked a smile.
I’m also dreaming of a more self-sufficient life—maybe even building a small farm where I can live off the land. A life of simplicity and peace, where my connection is with nature, not draining office politics. I envision mornings spent growing my own food, taking care of animals, and evenings in quiet reflection. It may sound idealistic, but to me, it’s the only true escape from the constant pressure to engage with a world I find exhausting.
There’s still a long way to go, but for the first time in a while, I feel like I have a plan. I may still be trapped in this life for now, but each day brings me closer to breaking free. I know there are others who feel the same—the pressure to conform, the weight of social obligations you didn’t choose. And to those people, I say this: we don’t have to live like this forever. There’s a way out, but it starts with deciding you deserve a life that fits who you truly are.
I’m building that life, one step at a time. And one day, I’ll leave the masks and forced interactions behind for good.
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